Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Needed a laugh...

...and got a laugh. Life has been pretty funky recently, not in the 'get down' kind of funky, either. So I was looking for a laugh, and was delighted to find that Fred was able to oblige (HT, as ever, to Slacktivist.)

First, fafblog, which I seem to think everyone has already found except me. But if I'm wrong, go check it out. From his entry on 6 June:

..."Well good riddance!" says Giblets. "What did the world ever do for Giblets? It was old and fat and smelled like smelling!"
"We'll make a new world outta bootstraps an elbow grease an the power of magination!" says me.
"On the first day Giblets will create man in his own image!" says Giblets. "On the second day man will ignore Giblets to revel in his own Gibletsiosity. On the third day Giblets will smite man for his insolence! On the fourth day Giblets will get all sad and eat a whole thing of cookie dough."
"And that's just the beginning!" says me. "In the new universe nobody's gettin hassled by The Man's gravity anymore! If you wanna fall sideways for a while that's your right as an American."
"In the new universe all our most time-consuming tasks will be performed by super-efficient helper robots - including the construction of our super-efficient helper robots!" says Giblets. "They will then build lower-class worker robots to do their work for them, who will outsource their labor to cheap, third-world sweatshop robots, who will fill their factories with legions of trained indentured gerbils, who will ultimately enslave a species of weevil."
"But when the weevil revolution comes we'll be in the clear cause we'll already be conquered by the robots," says me....

Oh! 'The weevil revolution'!? Aidez-moi! Go and read it all now before you regret not going and reading it all now... Inspired insanity!

And just in case you were worried about the weak dollar (oy, don't remind me!) Fafblog's got it all sorted out for you:

"But Faf what if I do not want a weak dollar" you are asking. That is a good question. The best way to protect the value of your dollars is the best way to protect the value of anything else: lamination. I get a great deal down at the lamination place because I am friends with the guy at the counter Joe, and I have started laminating a supply of dollars which will now always be worth at least this much so if the dollar goes any lower my laminated dollars will be worth more than unlaminated ones, and I can go into stores and say "I would like to buy stuff" and they'll say "That'll be three-fifty Fafnir" and I will say "Oh I think it will only be three dollars today Mac because I have laminated dollars!" and everyone will be amazed.

Now of course you are saying "But Fafnir is that really cost-effective for me? Lamination can be expensive if I am not friends with Joe the guy at the counter at the lamination place." Well you should make friends with him shouldn't you? He's not a bad guy.

Check all his sound, bellweather financial advice here.

And, also, because I have been too exhausted, busy, and uncreative to write on anything but the meshuga DaVinci Code, I find the DVC interview, from the Big-Time Internet Theologian (pronounced 'anonymous crank with a web log'), utterly hilarious. A small excerpt to tempt you:

Q: Why is the main character described as a professor of religious symbology at Harvard? Is there such a thing as "symbology"?
A: Not in a narrow, Western sense, no. But in the sense that there is a Santa Claus who brings toys to all the Christian children of the world, yes.

Q: The book also claims that the Council of Nicea decided for the first time that Jesus was divine. Is that an accurate representation of the council?
A: Yes, except Brown left out a few things. The Council of Nicea also voted to decide that Homer wrote "The Iliad" and "The Odyssey" but not "Strawberry Fields Forever"; that vanilla is the best ice cream flavor; that rap music started to decline in creativity around 1993; and that George Sisler is the best pure hitter in the history of baseball.

Read it all here.


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